Mermaid Jokes

Mermaid Jokes

Here are some great mermaid jokes to tickle your funny-fin at your next mermaid party or pod get-together.

Q: Where do mermaids see movies?
A: At the dive-in!
Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?
A: In the riverbank!
Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?
A: On line!
Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite TV show?
A: Whale of Fortune!
Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?
A: A waterbed!
Q: What kind of phone does a mermaid use?
A: A shell phone!
Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A: A nervous wreck!
Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide!
Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?
A: Nothing. It just waved.
Q: Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh?
A: They have their own scales!
Q: Why did the mermaid ride a sea horse?
A: Because she was playing water polo!
Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?
A: Because she saw the ship’s bottom!
Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die?
A: Angelfish!
Q: What does a mermaid wear to math class?
A: Algebra!
Q: What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish’s tail,
looks like a mermaid, but isn’t a mermaid?
A:   A photograph of a mermaid!
Q: How did the mermaid afford her new house?
A: She prawned everything!
Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite song?
A:   Salmon-chanted Evening!
Q: How does a mermaid make friends with a dolphin?
A: On porpoise!
Q: How do mermaids send messages?
A: By sea-mail.
Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter?
A: Jellyfish!
Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?
A:   Because the seaweed!
Q: Who held the baby octopus ransom?
A: Squidnappers!
Q: What does a mermaid get from a really mean shark?
A: She gets as far away as possible!
Q: Why don’t mermaids play tennis?
A: They might get caught in the net!
Q: What did the shrimp say to its mom?
A: I was too shellfish.
Q: Why do fish live in saltwater?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: What do sardines call submarines?
A: Cans full of people.
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish!
Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?
A: Tentacles! (Ten tickles)
Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A: They dropped out of school!
Q: Why are fish so gullible?
A: They fall for things hook, line, and sinker.
Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
Q: What fish costs the most?’
A: A goldfish!

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Kelp who?

Kelp me! I’m drowning!

A fish walks into a bar.

“What would you like?” the bartender asks.

Holding his neck, the fish says, “water!”

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35 Comments


  1. Aug 12, 2018 at 11:15 am
    Kiki says

    I watch mako mermaids and then I start watching finfun


  2. May 26, 2018 at 7:52 pm
    Mermaid fart says

    I pledge to harpoon every mermaid that ever lived.


  3. Mar 27, 2018 at 6:25 pm
    kat says

    ha ha ha wow so funny I could hardly breth.


  4. Feb 14, 2018 at 8:04 pm
    pep says

    these mermaid jokes are hillarious

    -Pepa D


  5. Jan 31, 2018 at 1:27 pm
    Anonymous says

    I love merpeople so much since I was 3 did you see the eclipse


  6. Jan 14, 2018 at 4:22 pm
    Mermaid Melissa says

    Lol omg


  7. Jan 3, 2018 at 12:06 pm
    mermaid party planner says

    Any ideas for a little mermaid four year olds party


  8. Oct 10, 2017 at 7:43 pm
    Mermaidlover101 says

    These jokes r hilarious they are really funny I give credit to whoever created them I’ll be sure to share them maybe make someone laugh and if that doesn’t work I’ll get an octopus to do tentacles haha get it. I love mermaids and thx to finfun my love has grown even stronger I love mermaids and I always will I thank everyone at finfun for making my dreams a reality. I hope that you all know that every thing that you


    1. Dec 24, 2017 at 4:10 pm
      I love mermaids says

      Do u think mermaids r preety?


  9. Aug 30, 2017 at 5:59 pm
    Mermaid Nia says

    OMG this did pull my funny ~fin! LOL Whoever made these jokes funny!! I was chocking for water (instead of air)! Great jokes! Can’t wait to tell my fin-friends!


    1. Oct 10, 2017 at 7:51 pm
      Mermaidlover101 says

      Like I said in my last post I want to thank everyone at finfun for making my dreams a reality I love their tails I have 2 and try r so so so much fun everything u do is amazing and I hope u all know that thank u so so much I love them and I personally think the price is good for how confertable, realistic, and beautiful they r I love them thank u so so much now who agrees. Thank u I love u so much thank you bye.


  10. Aug 20, 2017 at 3:24 am
    quoffeecup says

    Hi finfun! I have another joke you will like: Did you hear about the fisherman who fell into a swarm of fish? He came out with a “Fishy” face.


  11. Apr 18, 2017 at 7:21 pm
    Boo boos says

    I love fin fun I have a tail myself it is so fun and makes you swim faster thank you so much fin fun I wouldn’t been be able to do it without you


  12. Apr 12, 2017 at 8:59 am
    DORY says

    I REALLY LIKE MERMAID AND REALLY WANT TO SEE ONE ONEDAY


  13. Mar 23, 2017 at 12:15 pm
    waveroll24 says

    LOL LOL YOUL MAKE A GIRL DIE FROM SO MUCH LAGHTER THESE JOKES ARE SO CUTE AND IF YOU HADENT NOTICED FUNNY


  14. Jan 15, 2017 at 3:29 pm
    Sarah says

    Love the joke


  15. Dec 18, 2016 at 10:01 am
    yma says

    theas are good ones


  16. Jul 4, 2016 at 6:38 pm
    jule says

    i should be getting my mermaid tail soon and im going 2 luv it


  17. Jun 25, 2016 at 6:32 am
    Mermaid girl says

    My puppy is so cute that I even put my mermaid tail on her?


    1. Nov 7, 2016 at 6:01 pm
      I’m a real mermaid says

      Aw that’s sweet and cute? I always put my mermaid tail on my 6 year old cuzin


    2. Mar 4, 2017 at 2:15 pm
      ClarieABCDEF123 says

      I put my shell necklace around my Yorkie and she started yowling
      SUPER CUTE, then I put HER tail on her and she started looking back to smell it, and chasing it


  18. Jun 22, 2016 at 3:19 pm
    Sky says

    I absolutely love my tail! Thanks so much! The thing about how it all started with Grandma Karen really inspired me. Thanks again! Please keep growing this business so more beautiful people can enjoy this as much as I do.

    -Sky


  19. Jun 6, 2016 at 2:34 am
    Cleo says

    i love these jokes there so funny and fun to tell to friends and family who ever came up with these jokes in amazing if you did it be honest and please could you tell me thank you to the person who came up with these jokes i was crying thats how funny they were and fun so a realey
    BIG THANK YOU.


  20. May 21, 2016 at 6:40 pm
    Maddie says

    I want one for my birthday


  21. Apr 16, 2016 at 2:51 pm
    anh pham says

    hi


  22. Feb 22, 2016 at 8:06 pm
    Dinka says

    I can’t wait until my Aussie green mermaid tail come it should be here in a couple of days though. My mermaid tail is the one most people want to get and what they have


  23. Jan 24, 2016 at 12:15 pm
    Sophia says

    Loooool I abaslotly love the first one1 its number one1 so give it a prize beacus its number one1


  24. Nov 15, 2015 at 8:54 am
    jennitha says

    lol so funny


  25. Aug 15, 2015 at 2:18 pm
    ashley says

    i love marmads tials


  26. Jul 8, 2015 at 11:44 am
    Areli says

    I love it so much! Aussie green is so beautiful! Although I’m just wondering why the mermaid tails cost over a hundred?? Good but expensive


  27. Jun 29, 2015 at 10:04 pm
    kymber says

    i really want one


  28. Jun 22, 2015 at 4:49 am
    Mermaid Cat says

    Those were funnier than I expected. Thanks!


  29. Jun 7, 2015 at 2:54 pm
    kim says

    wow


  30. Jun 5, 2015 at 10:03 pm
    Oreo Nemo says

    lol


    1. May 21, 2016 at 6:40 pm
      Maddie says

      I want one to