Mermaid Jokes

Mermaid Jokes

Here are some great mermaid jokes to tickle your funny-fin at your next mermaid party or pod get-together.

Q: Where do mermaids see movies?
A: At the dive-in!
Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?
A: In the riverbank!
Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?
A: On line!
Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite TV show?
A: Whale of Fortune!
Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?
A: A waterbed!
Q: What kind of phone does a mermaid use?
A: A shell phone!
Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A: A nervous wreck!
Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?
A: To get to the other tide!
Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?
A: Nothing. It just waved.
Q: Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh?
A: They have their own scales!
Q: Why did the mermaid ride a sea horse?
A: Because she was playing water polo!
Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?
A: Because she saw the ship’s bottom!
Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die?
A: Angelfish!
Q: What does a mermaid wear to math class?
A: Algebra!
Q: What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish’s tail,
looks like a mermaid, but isn’t a mermaid?
A:   A photograph of a mermaid!
Q: How did the mermaid afford her new house?
A: She prawned everything!
Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite song?
A:   Salmon-chanted Evening!
Q: How does a mermaid make friends with a dolphin?
A: On porpoise!
Q: How do mermaids send messages?
A: By sea-mail.
Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter?
A: Jellyfish!
Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?
A:   Because the seaweed!
Q: Who held the baby octopus ransom?
A: Squidnappers!
Q: What does a mermaid get from a really mean shark?
A: She gets as far away as possible!
Q: Why don’t mermaids play tennis?
A: They might get caught in the net!
Q: What did the shrimp say to its mom?
A: I was too shellfish.
Q: Why do fish live in saltwater?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: What do sardines call submarines?
A: Cans full of people.
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish!
Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?
A: Tentacles! (Ten tickles)
Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A: They dropped out of school!
Q: Why are fish so gullible?
A: They fall for things hook, line, and sinker.
Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
Q: What fish costs the most?’
A: A goldfish!

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Kelp who?

Kelp me! I’m drowning!

A fish walks into a bar.

“What would you like?” the bartender asks.

Holding his neck, the fish says, “water!”

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  1. Feb 14, 2018 at 8:04 pm
    pep says

    these mermaid jokes are hillarious

    -Pepa D

  2. Jan 31, 2018 at 1:27 pm
    Anonymous says

    I love merpeople so much since I was 3 did you see the eclipse