Mermaid Jokes

Mermaid Jokes

Here are some great mermaid jokes to tickle your funny-fin at your next mermaid party or pod get-together.


Q: Where do mermaids see movies?

A: At the dive-in!


Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?

A: In the riverbank!


Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?

A: On line!


Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite TV show?

A: Whale of Fortune!


Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?

A: A waterbed!


Q: What kind of phone does a mermaid use?

A: A shell phone!


Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A: A nervous wreck!


Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?

A: To get to the other tide!


Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?

A: Nothing. It just waved.


Q: Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh?

A: They have their own scales!


Q: Why did the mermaid ride a sea horse?

A: Because she was playing water polo!


Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?

A: Because she saw the ship’s bottom!


Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die?

A: Angelfish!


Q: What does a mermaid wear to math class?

A: Algebra!


Q: What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish’s tail, looks like a mermaid, but isn’t a mermaid?

A:   A photograph of a mermaid!


Q: How did the mermaid afford her new house?

A: She prawned everything!


Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite song?

A:   Salmon-chanted Evening!


Q: How does a mermaid make friends with a dolphin?

A: On porpoise!


Q: How do mermaids send messages?

A: By sea-mail.


Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter?

A: Jellyfish!


Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?

A:   Because the seaweed!


Q: Who held the baby octopus ransom?

A: Squidnappers!


Q: What does a mermaid get from a really mean shark?

A: She gets as far away as possible!


Q: Why don’t mermaids play tennis?

A: They might get caught in the net!


Q: What did the shrimp say to its mom?

A: I was too shellfish.


Q: Why do fish live in saltwater?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Q: What do sardines call submarines?

A: Cans full of people.


Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can’t tuna fish!


Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?

A: Tentacles! (Ten tickles)


Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?

A: They dropped out of school!


Q: Why are fish so gullible?

A: They fall for things hook, line, and sinker.


Q: How do you communicate with a fish?

A: Drop him a line!


Q: What fish costs the most?

A: A goldfish!


More Mermaid Jokes:

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Kelp who?

Kelp me! I’m drowning!


A fish walks into a bar.

“What would you like?” the bartender asks.

Holding his neck, the fish says, “water!”

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  1. May 15, 2021 at 6:41 pm
    amy says:

    why did the mermaid cross the road

  2. May 7, 2021 at 9:58 pm
    water princess says:

    I love these jokes because i love the water and my middle name is mermaid

    1. May 15, 2021 at 6:40 pm
      amy says: