Mermaid Jokes

Mermaid Jokes

Here are some great mermaid jokes to tickle your funny-fin at your next mermaid party or pod get-together.

 

Q: Where do mermaids see movies?

A: At the dive-in!

 

Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?

A: In the riverbank!

 

Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?

A: On line!

 

Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite TV show?

A: Whale of Fortune!

 

Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?

A: A waterbed!

 

Q: What kind of phone does a mermaid use?

A: A shell phone!

 

Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A: A nervous wreck!

 

Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?

A: To get to the other tide!

 

Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?

A: Nothing. It just waved.

 

Q: Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh?

A: They have their own scales!

 

Q: Why did the mermaid ride a sea horse?

A: Because she was playing water polo!

 

Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?

A: Because she saw the ship’s bottom!

 

Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die?

A: Angelfish!

 

Q: What does a mermaid wear to math class?

A: Algebra!

 

Q: What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish’s tail, looks like a mermaid, but isn’t a mermaid?

A:   A photograph of a mermaid!

 

Q: How did the mermaid afford her new house?

A: She prawned everything!

 

Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite song?

A:   Salmon-chanted Evening!

 

Q: How does a mermaid make friends with a dolphin?

A: On porpoise!

 

Q: How do mermaids send messages?

A: By sea-mail.

 

Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter?

A: Jellyfish!

 

Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?

A:   Because the seaweed!

 

Q: Who held the baby octopus ransom?

A: Squidnappers!

 

Q: What does a mermaid get from a really mean shark?

A: She gets as far away as possible!

 

Q: Why don’t mermaids play tennis?

A: They might get caught in the net!

 

Q: What did the shrimp say to its mom?

A: I was too shellfish.

 

Q: Why do fish live in saltwater?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

 

Q: What do sardines call submarines?

A: Cans full of people.

 

Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can’t tuna fish!

 

Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?

A: Tentacles! (Ten tickles)

 

Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?

A: They dropped out of school!

 

Q: Why are fish so gullible?

A: They fall for things hook, line, and sinker.

 

Q: How do you communicate with a fish?

A: Drop him a line!

 

Q: What fish costs the most?

A: A goldfish!

 

More Mermaid Jokes:

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Kelp who?

Kelp me! I’m drowning!

 

A fish walks into a bar.

“What would you like?” the bartender asks.

Holding his neck, the fish says, “water!”

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41 Comments

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  1. Dec 10, 2018 at 8:11 am
    Miss couple cakes says:

    This is fun awsome


  2. Nov 10, 2018 at 11:45 am
    Ariel says:

    Which mermaid is a cheerleading acrobat? Aerial! (Ariel)


  3. Nov 8, 2018 at 5:41 pm
    Mermaid Sparkles says:

    Where did the mermaid go to school?

    Pharma- sea school 🙂


  4. Oct 26, 2018 at 11:58 pm
    princess mermaid says:

    I WANT TO BE A REAL LIFE MERMAID SO THAT I CAN SING REALLY GOOD AND SEE UNDERWATER AND HAVE REALLY LONG PRETTY WAVY SHINY STRONG HAIR AND BREATH UNDERWATER AND BE FAST AT SWIMMING FOR 10000 miles away


  5. Oct 11, 2018 at 6:05 pm
    Shelly says:

    Mermaids mermaids swimming in the ocean causing a commotion cause they are so awesome


  6. Aug 18, 2018 at 4:43 pm
    Pretty_mermaid7777 says:

    Hi fellow mermaids


  7. Aug 12, 2018 at 11:15 am
    Kiki says:

    I watch mako mermaids and then I start watching finfun


  8. May 26, 2018 at 7:52 pm
    Mermaid fart says:

    I pledge to harpoon every mermaid that ever lived.


  9. Mar 27, 2018 at 6:25 pm
    kat says:

    ha ha ha wow so funny I could hardly breth.


  10. Feb 14, 2018 at 8:04 pm
    pep says:

    these mermaid jokes are hillarious

    -Pepa D


  11. Jan 31, 2018 at 1:27 pm
    Anonymous says:

    I love merpeople so much since I was 3 did you see the eclipse