Mermaid Jokes

Mermaid Jokes

Here are some great mermaid jokes to tickle your funny-fin at your next mermaid party or pod get-together.


Q: Where do mermaids see movies?

A: At the dive-in!


Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?

A: In the riverbank!


Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?

A: On line!


Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite TV show?

A: Whale of Fortune!


Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?

A: A waterbed!


Q: What kind of phone does a mermaid use?

A: A shell phone!


Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A: A nervous wreck!


Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?

A: To get to the other tide!


Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?

A: Nothing. It just waved.


Q: Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh?

A: They have their own scales!


Q: Why did the mermaid ride a sea horse?

A: Because she was playing water polo!


Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?

A: Because she saw the ship’s bottom!


Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die?

A: Angelfish!


Q: What does a mermaid wear to math class?

A: Algebra!


Q: What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish’s tail, looks like a mermaid, but isn’t a mermaid?

A:   A photograph of a mermaid!


Q: How did the mermaid afford her new house?

A: She prawned everything!


Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite song?

A:   Salmon-chanted Evening!


Q: How does a mermaid make friends with a dolphin?

A: On porpoise!


Q: How do mermaids send messages?

A: By sea-mail.


Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter?

A: Jellyfish!


Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?

A:   Because the seaweed!


Q: Who held the baby octopus ransom?

A: Squidnappers!


Q: What does a mermaid get from a really mean shark?

A: She gets as far away as possible!


Q: Why don’t mermaids play tennis?

A: They might get caught in the net!


Q: What did the shrimp say to its mom?

A: I was too shellfish.


Q: Why do fish live in saltwater?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Q: What do sardines call submarines?

A: Cans full of people.


Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can’t tuna fish!


Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?

A: Tentacles! (Ten tickles)


Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?

A: They dropped out of school!


Q: Why are fish so gullible?

A: They fall for things hook, line, and sinker.


Q: How do you communicate with a fish?

A: Drop him a line!


Q: What fish costs the most?

A: A goldfish!


More Mermaid Jokes:

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Kelp who?

Kelp me! I’m drowning!


A fish walks into a bar.

“What would you like?” the bartender asks.

Holding his neck, the fish says, “water!”

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  1. Apr 5, 2020 at 7:34 am
    Mermaid unicorn says:

    Love being a mermaid…….Me in the water 🧜🏻‍♀️

  2. Mar 31, 2020 at 8:30 pm
    Pink jellyfish says:

    Is there going to be another tail design contest??????????????

  3. Mar 6, 2020 at 2:54 pm
    Eden the mermaid says:

    Bruh. These are so cool got a mermaid am 7 I rate u a 1000 star of I could but fin fin 😎

  4. Mar 3, 2020 at 10:03 pm
    kw says:

    why do mermaids wear sea shells?

    they outgrew their B shells

  5. Sep 15, 2019 at 1:38 pm
    Anonymous says:

    Where do mermaids go to get clean?
    In the TIDE

  6. Jul 22, 2019 at 8:44 pm
    Amatheia says:

    Thank you! These are funny jokes!

  7. Jul 9, 2019 at 3:44 pm
    ZOEY Says says:

    why are most fish at the bottom of the ocean. Because so they can breath

  8. Jun 6, 2019 at 6:42 pm
    serina says:

    um these are way to much to all read i only red half lol

  9. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:44 pm
    Aquamarine says:

    I love these mermaid jokes and I love mermaids they inspire me I just want to be a mermaid I have always wanted to be one sense I was 10 I got me a deep sea blue mermaid tail that I practice swimming in all the time because my dream is to be a show mermaid at the aquarium in Florida.🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️

    1. Aug 2, 2019 at 12:23 am
      erbmermaid4life says:

      If u want to be a mermaid super duper bad then go to Fairy Truths on YouTube. She has an amazing potion and spell that works 110%!! Go check it out!!

  10. Dec 10, 2018 at 8:11 am
    Miss couple cakes says:

    This is fun awsome

  11. Nov 10, 2018 at 11:45 am
    Ariel says:

    Which mermaid is a cheerleading acrobat? Aerial! (Ariel)

  12. Nov 8, 2018 at 5:41 pm
    Mermaid Sparkles says:

    Where did the mermaid go to school?

    Pharma- sea school 🙂

  13. Oct 26, 2018 at 11:58 pm
    princess mermaid says:


  14. Oct 11, 2018 at 6:05 pm
    Shelly says:

    Mermaids mermaids swimming in the ocean causing a commotion cause they are so awesome

  15. Aug 18, 2018 at 4:43 pm
    Pretty_mermaid7777 says:

    Hi fellow mermaids

  16. Aug 12, 2018 at 11:15 am
    Kiki says:

    I watch mako mermaids and then I start watching finfun

    1. Mar 2, 2020 at 3:14 pm
      Destiny says:


  17. May 26, 2018 at 7:52 pm
    Mermaid fart says:

    I pledge to harpoon every mermaid that ever lived.

  18. Mar 27, 2018 at 6:25 pm
    kat says:

    ha ha ha wow so funny I could hardly breth.

  19. Feb 14, 2018 at 8:04 pm
    pep says:

    these mermaid jokes are hillarious

    -Pepa D

  20. Jan 31, 2018 at 1:27 pm
    Anonymous says:

    I love merpeople so much since I was 3 did you see the eclipse