Mermaid Jokes

Mermaid Jokes

Here are some great mermaid jokes to tickle your funny-fin at your next mermaid party or pod get-together.

 

Q: Where do mermaids see movies?

A: At the dive-in!

 

Q: Where does a mermaid keep her money?

A: In the riverbank!

 

Q: Where did the fisherman and mermaid meet?

A: On line!

 

Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite TV show?

A: Whale of Fortune!

 

Q: Where does a mermaid sleep?

A: A waterbed!

 

Q: What kind of phone does a mermaid use?

A: A shell phone!

 

Q: What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A: A nervous wreck!

 

Q: Why did the mermaid swim across the ocean?

A: To get to the other tide!

 

Q: What did the sea say to the mermaid?

A: Nothing. It just waved.

 

Q: Why do mermaids always know how much they weigh?

A: They have their own scales!

 

Q: Why did the mermaid ride a sea horse?

A: Because she was playing water polo!

 

Q: Why was the mermaid embarrassed?

A: Because she saw the ship’s bottom!

 

Q: Which fish go to heaven when they die?

A: Angelfish!

 

Q: What does a mermaid wear to math class?

A: Algebra!

 

Q: What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish’s tail, looks like a mermaid, but isn’t a mermaid?

A:   A photograph of a mermaid!

 

Q: How did the mermaid afford her new house?

A: She prawned everything!

 

Q: What is a mermaid’s favorite song?

A:   Salmon-chanted Evening!

 

Q: How does a mermaid make friends with a dolphin?

A: On porpoise!

 

Q: How do mermaids send messages?

A: By sea-mail.

 

Q: What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter?

A: Jellyfish!

 

Q: Why did the mermaid look the other way?

A:   Because the seaweed!

 

Q: Who held the baby octopus ransom?

A: Squidnappers!

 

Q: What does a mermaid get from a really mean shark?

A: She gets as far away as possible!

 

Q: Why don’t mermaids play tennis?

A: They might get caught in the net!

 

Q: What did the shrimp say to its mom?

A: I was too shellfish.

 

Q: Why do fish live in saltwater?

A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!

 

Q: What do sardines call submarines?

A: Cans full of people.

 

Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?

A: You can’t tuna fish!

 

Q: How did the octopus make the mermaid laugh?

A: Tentacles! (Ten tickles)

 

Q: Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?

A: They dropped out of school!

 

Q: Why are fish so gullible?

A: They fall for things hook, line, and sinker.

 

Q: How do you communicate with a fish?

A: Drop him a line!

 

Q: What fish costs the most?

A: A goldfish!

 

More Mermaid Jokes:

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Kelp who?

Kelp me! I’m drowning!

 

A fish walks into a bar.

“What would you like?” the bartender asks.

Holding his neck, the fish says, “water!”

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55 Comments

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  1. Apr 9, 2020 at 3:35 pm
    mrs comet says:

    these jokes were so funny and they really gave the true meaning of mermaids


  2. Apr 5, 2020 at 7:34 am
    Mermaid unicorn says:

    Love being a mermaid…….Me in the water 🧜🏻‍♀️


  3. Apr 2, 2020 at 1:46 pm
    Celeste says:

    This is like the best activities to do when there’s no school and like during this pandemic I mean it’s so much fun when times are boring like stuck in traffic or on a rainy day or when you’re going on a long trip and like it’s all the way up North and it takes you like 2 days to get there I always carry my phone with me so when I get boring I can go to fin friends coloring pages jokes and other games it’s so much fun I can tell you right now. Each and every girl would love to play in this Fin Fun is so nice that they made this it’s so exciting when you get boring that it shows you a mermaid tail skins and monofins and videos it’s just so much fun I think that every girl with the phone should find out about Fin friends


  4. Mar 31, 2020 at 8:30 pm
    Pink jellyfish says:

    Is there going to be another tail design contest??????????????


  5. Mar 6, 2020 at 2:54 pm
    Eden the mermaid says:

    Bruh. These are so cool got a mermaid am 7 I rate u a 1000 star of I could but fin fin 😎


  6. Mar 3, 2020 at 10:03 pm
    kw says:

    why do mermaids wear sea shells?

    they outgrew their B shells


  7. Sep 15, 2019 at 1:38 pm
    Anonymous says:

    Where do mermaids go to get clean?
    In the TIDE


  8. Jul 22, 2019 at 8:44 pm
    Amatheia says:

    Thank you! These are funny jokes!


  9. Jul 9, 2019 at 3:44 pm
    ZOEY Says says:

    why are most fish at the bottom of the ocean. Because so they can breath


  10. Jun 6, 2019 at 6:42 pm
    serina says:

    um these are way to much to all read i only red half lol


  11. Feb 24, 2019 at 7:44 pm
    Aquamarine says:

    I love these mermaid jokes and I love mermaids they inspire me I just want to be a mermaid I have always wanted to be one sense I was 10 I got me a deep sea blue mermaid tail that I practice swimming in all the time because my dream is to be a show mermaid at the aquarium in Florida.🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️


    1. Aug 2, 2019 at 12:23 am
      erbmermaid4life says:

      If u want to be a mermaid super duper bad then go to Fairy Truths on YouTube. She has an amazing potion and spell that works 110%!! Go check it out!!


      1. Mar 18, 2020 at 10:19 pm
        Pink jellyfish says:

        So did you try it are you really a mermaid now and who said that it works 110%of the time and also I’ve heard of that spell out first of all I could get eaten by other marine life or people could capture and test everything and I would not get to see my family anymore sorry for the typos but I’m kinda just curious


  12. Dec 10, 2018 at 8:11 am
    Miss couple cakes says:

    This is fun awsome


  13. Nov 10, 2018 at 11:45 am
    Ariel says:

    Which mermaid is a cheerleading acrobat? Aerial! (Ariel)


  14. Nov 8, 2018 at 5:41 pm
    Mermaid Sparkles says:

    Where did the mermaid go to school?

    Pharma- sea school 🙂


  15. Oct 26, 2018 at 11:58 pm
    princess mermaid says:

    I WANT TO BE A REAL LIFE MERMAID SO THAT I CAN SING REALLY GOOD AND SEE UNDERWATER AND HAVE REALLY LONG PRETTY WAVY SHINY STRONG HAIR AND BREATH UNDERWATER AND BE FAST AT SWIMMING FOR 10000 miles away


  16. Oct 11, 2018 at 6:05 pm
    Shelly says:

    Mermaids mermaids swimming in the ocean causing a commotion cause they are so awesome


  17. Aug 18, 2018 at 4:43 pm
    Pretty_mermaid7777 says:

    Hi fellow mermaids


  18. Aug 12, 2018 at 11:15 am
    Kiki says:

    I watch mako mermaids and then I start watching finfun


    1. Mar 2, 2020 at 3:14 pm
      Destiny says:

      ILOVE MAKO MERMAIDS
      !!!!!!’!!!!!!!!!


  19. May 26, 2018 at 7:52 pm
    Mermaid fart says:

    I pledge to harpoon every mermaid that ever lived.


  20. Mar 27, 2018 at 6:25 pm
    kat says:

    ha ha ha wow so funny I could hardly breth.


  21. Feb 14, 2018 at 8:04 pm
    pep says:

    these mermaid jokes are hillarious

    -Pepa D


  22. Jan 31, 2018 at 1:27 pm
    Anonymous says:

    I love merpeople so much since I was 3 did you see the eclipse